is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
