38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
