this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
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It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
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He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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