just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
