I am midnight drunk by noon
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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