Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
