Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
