two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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