He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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