You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
