i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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