escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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