somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
