how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize