so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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