oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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