Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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