yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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