i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
