Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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