when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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