College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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