he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
