Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
