Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
