I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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