I showed him my bush... on skype.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
When are your genitals available?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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