Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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