at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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