We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
