Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
