you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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