That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can text with my tongue
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
