how can u be prego again
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
