yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
