So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
