We're like a lot better than the average bears
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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