i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
