Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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