actually, I'm a sock model
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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