i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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