Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
