He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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