Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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