She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
