Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
