i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
