....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
