I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
a search helicopter?!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
