Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
