super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
