yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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