Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
