Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Semen is not good for contacts.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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