went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think my fart just growled at me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
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I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
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On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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