She's JV to your varsity
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
