do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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