i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize