Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
