Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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