five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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