she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
